Dog's New Years Resolutions

Dog's New Years resolutions

1. I will not play tug-of-war with Daddy's underwear when he's on the
can.

2. I will remember the garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff.

3. I will not suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the
coffee table.

4. I will not roll my toys behind the fridge.

5. I will shake the rainwater out of my fur BEFORE entering the
house.

6. I will not eat the cat's food before or after he eats it.

7. I will stop trying to find new places on the carpet when I am
about to throw up.

8. I will not throw up in the car.

9. I will not roll on dead things.

10. I will stop considering the cat's litter box as a cookie jar.

11. I will not wake up Mommy by putting my cold, wet nose up her
bottom end.

12. I will not chew my human's toothbrush and not tell them.

13. I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones, or
my people will think that I am hemorrhaging.

14. When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled
down when it's raining outside.

15. I will not drop soggy tennis balls in the underwear of anyone who
is sitting on the can.

16. We do not have a doorbell. Therefore, I will not bark each time I
hear one on the television.

17. I will not steal my Mommy's underwear out of the laundry basket
and then dance all over the back yard with them.

18. I will remember the sofa is not a face towel and neither are
Mommy's & Daddy's laps.

19. I will remember my head does not belong in the refrigerator.

20. I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mommy's
driver's license and car registration.