Funny Questions People Ask Vegetarians

Q."What would you eat if you were stranded on a desert with no food in sight but a cow?"
A.I would find out what the cow was eating and join it.

Q."But god meant for us to eat animals."
A.You put a baby in a crib with an apple and a rabbit.If it eats the rabbit,I'll buy you a new car.

Me: I'm a vegetarian because animals don't want to be killed for food.
Nonveggie: But how do you know what animals want?

40+ Earth Day Comics from America's Best-Loved Cartoonists

40+ Earth Day Comics from America's Best-Loved Cartoonists

http://www.thedailygreen.com/living-green/earth-day-cartoons-47042120?src=nl&mag=tdg&list=dgr&kw=ist

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Dog's New Years Resolutions

Dog's New Years resolutions

1. I will not play tug-of-war with Daddy's underwear when he's on the
can.

2. I will remember the garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff.

3. I will not suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the
coffee table.

4. I will not roll my toys behind the fridge.

5. I will shake the rainwater out of my fur BEFORE entering the
house.

6. I will not eat the cat's food before or after he eats it.

7. I will stop trying to find new places on the carpet when I am
about to throw up.

8. I will not throw up in the car.

9. I will not roll on dead things.

10. I will stop considering the cat's litter box as a cookie jar.

11. I will not wake up Mommy by putting my cold, wet nose up her
bottom end.

12. I will not chew my human's toothbrush and not tell them.

13. I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones, or
my people will think that I am hemorrhaging.

14. When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled
down when it's raining outside.

15. I will not drop soggy tennis balls in the underwear of anyone who
is sitting on the can.

16. We do not have a doorbell. Therefore, I will not bark each time I
hear one on the television.

17. I will not steal my Mommy's underwear out of the laundry basket
and then dance all over the back yard with them.

18. I will remember the sofa is not a face towel and neither are
Mommy's & Daddy's laps.

19. I will remember my head does not belong in the refrigerator.

20. I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mommy's
driver's license and car registration.

Funny: You Know you are a Raw Foodist When...

You Know You Are a Raw Foodist When…
September 16th, 2008 by Steve Pavlina

http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2008/09/you-know-you-are-a-raw-foodist-when/

… your microwave oven has been converted into a sprout and herb garden.

… you can’t remember the last time you visited the “other side” of the grocery store.

… you measure the time since your last illness in decades.

… you spend more time thinking about digestion than sex.

… you consume your own body weight in less than a month.

… you believe that $5 is a fair price for a 3-oz piece of chocolate.

… you feel confident that you could survive on Gilligan’s Island — and you know you can make a better coconut cream pie than Mary Ann.

… your diet is a combination of the diets of bonobos, cows, and plankton.

… you can identify every item in the produce section.

… the grocery checker has to look up the codes for half of your items; the other half she must ask you to identify.

… you gladly offer to “help out” any friends with fertility problems; they decline because they just want one baby, not a litter.

… you fantasize about a raw foods version of Costco.

… you store produce in your oven.

… you’ve turned down lunch invites for logistical reasons.

… your blender costs more than your car (and has a better warranty).

… you own functional kitchen equipment made of bamboo.

… you weight train by grocery shopping.

… your last remaining addiction is a bean.

… you spell juice fasting with an extra e.

… you don’t believe in pre-detox sex.

… you can make a salad from your backyard, even if you don’t have a garden.

… you know how to cure cancer, heart disease, and diabetes… but no one believes you.

… something in your kitchen is currently underwater.

… you know the difference between raw and really raw when it comes to foods like almonds, tahini, and agave nectar.

… it disturbs you when people start talking about really, really raw.

… you want to try solar gazing soon.

… you refer to the Food Network as the Horror Channel.

… your diet helps restore the hearing you lost from using your blender.

… you call yourself a chef and/or coach even though you’ve never been to school for either.

… you know what Cassandra felt like.

… your first name is an emotion, an adjective, or an insect.

… you shop for clothes in the children’s section.

… your bathroom is devoid of reading material.

… vegans ask you, “But where do you get your protein?” (Some things never change.)

… you qualify potential dating partners based on their level of toxicity.

… your job title begins with the words raw, eco, or alternative.

… your health care practitioner’s job title ends in -path or -ist.

… your crackers cost more than $1 per ounce.

… you meet a breatharian and have to ask, “But where you do get your protein?”

… your breakfast smoothies include items from six continents and four oceans.