Understanding Need VS Want

Understanding Need vs. Want
by Wendy Lomano
www.athomeparent.com

While there is a great deal of information stay-at-home parents and frugal-living folks need to know, there is one major approach to life to which we all should abide.

In order to support a two-parent (and children) family on one income, the most important thing you need to understand is NEED vs. WANT. If you do not understand this concept, you will not succeed in living on one income.

When you consider taking any decision at all regarding spending your money, you need to assess whether it is something you need to have to survive, or if it is something that is appealing to your emotions -- something you want -- but that is not necessary for your survival on this Earth.

Ask yourself:

1. Can I live without it?
2. Will the world stop going around if I do not have it?
3. Will it make a big difference in my life if I do have it?
4. Will my life end if I go without this item?
5. Can I find it elsewhere for less money?
6. Can I find it on sale or clearance or used?

To get a good idea of just how little is necessary to survive, I'd suggest reading the Little House books by Laura Ingalls Wilder. Sure, we don't live in the same "world" as she did growing up, but I guarantee the books will make you think about everything you spend your money on!

Very often, if you decide to wait on a purchase, you'll find you didn't really need it... or want it... at all!

Studies have shown that the more advertising a person is exposed to, the more they buy and consume. What does this mean to you? The more television you watch, the more magazines you subscribe to or read, the more money you will spend on things you want but don't really need.

For example, if you watch television shows that profile their characters as well-dressed and successful, beautiful, popular, always wearing the most up-to-date style of clothing, the message is this: if you wear this style of clothing and have your hair cut like this, you, too, will be successful, popular and good-looking. Chances are, the next time you go to the mall, you'll be more apt to purchase items like you've seen on television or in the movies -- items that won't be in style for very long and will need to be replaced next year because they are no longer trendy.

If you watch television or read magazines, you just might start to think the only kinds of food available are expensive, chemical-filled convenience foods; and when you start becoming used to seeing them in ads, you may end up purchasing more and more of them as well -- and your budget will show this expense.

Our society promotes concepts and ideals that don't fit well with a one-income family; our society tells you to satisfy all your wants and desires, and your children's too! What kind of a parent are you not to give your child all he wants?! Shame on you!

Not quite. Shame on you if you do give your child all he wants and desires. That's not what life is about and you should know that. The disciples of Jesus dropped everything, gave away all their worldly possessions, as He instructed. I'm not telling you not to live comfortably, but think about it: When you give a child all he wants -- every Bionicle, every Lego set, every DVD he sees, all the money he asks for when he wants to go to the mall -- you are not teaching him to be self-sufficient or money-wise. You're teaching him to depend on you for all his wants (as well as his needs) and he will never, ever, be financially independent (and if he seems to be, chances are he'll be in debt up to his ears). You'll be in debt too, most likely.

Our NEEDS are relatively few, even from birth. We don't need a lot of stuff, toys, gadgets, etc. We need shelter from the elements, clothing, food, love and understanding. We need friends and family around us. We need spiritual upbringing and we need an understanding of God's law (upon which most laws of our country are based). Everything else is just baggage.

We don't need fancy pictures on the walls, although decoration is comforting. We don't need expensive clothing -- function should precede style. We don't need expensive gadgets that are supposed to make our lives easier, but which really only complicate things (cell phones and pagers, PDAs, call waiting). We don't need television, which often only pollutes our children's minds and inoculates us to the commercialism and hedonism of the general secular society.

Think about what you truly need and what in your life just creates clutter.

Wendy Lomano is mostly an at-home mom to her two boys and wife to her husband. She maintains The Stay-At-Home Parents Page (www.athomeparent.com), is a contractual drawing instructor, editor and free-lance web designer as well.